Once upon a time, I didn’t have children and life was very different. I never planned things because I was someone free to do whatever, whenever I wanted to. Outside of my work obligations, I could do literally whatever. By no means does that mean I liked it better than what I have now; children bring a different side of life and I dearly love my children. But this last week, both of my children were at camp and Luke and I were alone living life. I note “living life,” because sometimes we are alone but on vacation.
I thought of the top three things my life before children had. The number one thing it had was sleep. I’ve never been a sleep hog, nor did I ever sleep until noon. Even in college. But, I could dictate my own schedule. If I wanted to get up at 730am or 9am, it was a direct result of what I had scheduled for the day. Then I had kids. My kids are early risers. Both kids are for sure up by 715am. Every day. Oddly, Franchesscca showers in our bathroom. She has her own bathroom but prefers ours. Fine. I am happy she showers. But why on this great Earth, must she “sneak” in my room every morning and shut the bathroom door which jolts me awake. Or Victoria runs in our room and “checks to see if I am still asleep.” Why? I greatly miss the days of waking up on my own. Choosing when I go to bed because I can sleep a little past 730 instead of being jolted up in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, should either child need something like they aren’t well or had a bad dream or something like that, I am fine with being awoken. But that’s not it.
Secondly is a clean house. I miss having the mess in my dwelling be due to my things. We have a play room for toys, as well as each child has their own room. Yet before we go to bed, we are straightening out the things scattered around the house. We can’t put away this or that because they need to bring it to school next week or they were going to pick it up five times already and we just do it because I can’t stand the clutter. Additionally let’s talk about the toys….the toys everywhere! We can’t get rid of the 10 McDonald’s toys that we acquired because its Victoria’s “favorite toy” today.
Lastly is food. I eat to survive, I don’t eat on a schedule. I also don’t plan my meals. I can remember my Grandma telling me one of the perks of aging and kids out of the house was she could choose to have popcorn for dinner. Popcorn? Well that’s not too healthy, but hey its just her! I have never had popcorn for dinner but have relished in the idea of getting home and not fixing a four-course meal.
I raise two babies to independence which means they are just on the brink of our lives changing dramatically. I realized on the last day of school that Franchessca will graduate in six short years! Sooner than I am ready for, I am sure. While I cherished the moments when they were little, I gotta tell you, they are such fun humans now! I honestly don’t miss staying up all night trying to rock either of them to bed, only to wake up minutes later. I don’t miss having to be home at nap time on a Saturday because I am such a stickler on sleep. I miss teaching them to walk and talk. I miss their beautiful eyes looking up at me, asking for a cup of milk. Now they can just go get their own liquid. I miss the first time they both said “mommy,” in their cute baby voices.
While having little children takes a lot of patience, strength and support, I am so thankful I am past the little stage and now my children are filling my bucket with support, love and fun! Maybe it’s because I have two girls, and I know it will change where I am not the smartest person in their lives. But I am currently loving it!